High - w4m - 27

I am a plus sized married woman who is looking for a long term thing. So, I've had it in my mind that I want to reverse roles and do a sexy guy up the butt with a strap-on. please be a non smoker because i love to kiss. Of course, I will be very sweet with you. I will tease you for a long time, make you suck my "cock" on your knees, spank your ass, tease your tight hole with my fingers, and then gently slide it in. How will you feel, being my little bitch? I think you will love it! I have received several responses and not been satisfied. Anyone have a strap-on (or willing to buy me one) and make this happen? I want to make you feel like a goddess. Pic for pic, Must be DDF, discrete, local, and real.

mason craigslist > personals > missed connections > I cant get that ass off my mind. shit, i love you

"hey, give up on reading this now. i wont make you feel better and probily wont piss you off either. you'll end up wasting 10 minuts by reading all of this ad.
its come to me that all of you deep down inside, long for a missed connection written for you. i know there will never be one about me. the odds of you or i getting a missed connection written for us are very, very low.
ive encountered several people who are convinced that they will get one and, shortly after, them and the love of their life will meet, date, marry, and grow old together. that is just lazy and a stupid practice of futility.
but yeah, these kinda ads will either flatter or depress.
i titled it like so because i know everyone will click it.
when you read this, you will be upset because its not for you.
the title is extreamly vague. so dont get your hopes up.
i wont be replying to any of your emails, because im not a sweet heart.
its silly that you are reading this because once again, it is not for you.
i hope you dont wish this is for you because i know you are just another one of those "BBWs" searching for that man who can tolerate your weight.
im a shallow fuck. so, go away, dont email me.
this was going to be written for someone but she will never read it.
and if she did, she wouldnt have know who it was from.
plus, the origional idea went away as soon as i realized that i was just going to get a bunch of retarded emails for every other lonely women in this hell hole.
maybe another time."

Funny, smart, and good looking!!

"...it's been quite a while since i last had sex.... and i never had that much sex to begin with. i was a late bloomer shall we say... i didn't actually lose my virginity until i was 30. but since then i have manage to have sex about 30 times. not with 30 women.... no where close. but i guess i should've never started in with this whole sex business... sex is a lot like food, once you've had it, you want to have it again.... except unlike food, you can't buy it. well, i suppose you could, but that's not legal where i live... or so they say. but i don't even really feel like paying for it either. it just seems to cheapen the whole idea of having sex. i mean, how would it even work..... you just walk into a brothel... like the bunny ranch. don't ask me why i know that.... really, i've never been. but are there really girls that stand in a line and you say, "i'll take that one.... nah, maybe that one instea...." or do they hand you a menu? just imagine if you were one of those women and some 300 pound guy comes in smelling of cigaretts smoke and burgers.... maybe that's a turn on to some.... but it just seems sort of disgusting, without being too judgemental.... since i have my share of short comings.... namely, something that's in my pants and not to mention my receding hairline and crooked nose.... and my deplorable personality..... but aside from that..... i know this will have the ladys dieing to sleep with me.... but maybe we're two people that just want some action..... maybe we're two wayward stars in this immense galaxy.... maybe we're on a collision course.... and when we make contact..... it'll be an epic collision.... or maybe we're just two horny people looking to get off.... of course with the help of one another. maybe you could lend a helping hand and i can return the favor..... anyways, if you were one of those ladys and some 300 pound guy picks you..... well, i'm not sure what you would do.... turn in your panties? well, the long and short of this is i'm just a sad sap, turning my energies and aspirations to this little place on the internet..... in this great big world, i come here... a place where guys like me troll the internet looking for other loss souls..... i don't think i'm doing a good job of selling myself.... i'm starting to appear rather predatory. mmm.... i'm not sure i can take back some of my lines? i suppose i could, but then it would be like editing myself.... i usually just let my fingers go.... and whatever comes out, i'm not responsible for...... since it's my fingers that are doing the typing. it's not me... if you're going to arrest someone.... lock up my fingers. well, i highly doubt i convinced anyone to sleep with me let alone have sex with me.... but you never know... maybe there's someone drunk enough out there.... or maybe somehow the stars are aligned and the mood is just right and you find the slighest glimmer of attractiveness in me.... maybe you see something in my eyes...... and please don't say stupidity.... i've heard that one way too many times..... please say a "sexual tiger" or "a man's man..." or something really sexual.... like a sexy latino name.... like pedro or raul.... something that just makes you want to rip my clothes off and devour me.... something irrestible! say it to me baby.....
or just email me..... maybe we could plan a love affair for this weekend.... and by love affair, i don't mean.... cheating on your husband or bf.... sorry, even perverts have to draw the line somewhere..... sorry, i don't do aduletry..... well, unless she works at the brothel....."