Thursday, October 22, 2009

Funny, smart, and good looking!!

"'s been quite a while since i last had sex.... and i never had that much sex to begin with. i was a late bloomer shall we say... i didn't actually lose my virginity until i was 30. but since then i have manage to have sex about 30 times. not with 30 women.... no where close. but i guess i should've never started in with this whole sex business... sex is a lot like food, once you've had it, you want to have it again.... except unlike food, you can't buy it. well, i suppose you could, but that's not legal where i live... or so they say. but i don't even really feel like paying for it either. it just seems to cheapen the whole idea of having sex. i mean, how would it even work..... you just walk into a brothel... like the bunny ranch. don't ask me why i know that.... really, i've never been. but are there really girls that stand in a line and you say, "i'll take that one.... nah, maybe that one instea...." or do they hand you a menu? just imagine if you were one of those women and some 300 pound guy comes in smelling of cigaretts smoke and burgers.... maybe that's a turn on to some.... but it just seems sort of disgusting, without being too judgemental.... since i have my share of short comings.... namely, something that's in my pants and not to mention my receding hairline and crooked nose.... and my deplorable personality..... but aside from that..... i know this will have the ladys dieing to sleep with me.... but maybe we're two people that just want some action..... maybe we're two wayward stars in this immense galaxy.... maybe we're on a collision course.... and when we make contact..... it'll be an epic collision.... or maybe we're just two horny people looking to get off.... of course with the help of one another. maybe you could lend a helping hand and i can return the favor..... anyways, if you were one of those ladys and some 300 pound guy picks you..... well, i'm not sure what you would do.... turn in your panties? well, the long and short of this is i'm just a sad sap, turning my energies and aspirations to this little place on the internet..... in this great big world, i come here... a place where guys like me troll the internet looking for other loss souls..... i don't think i'm doing a good job of selling myself.... i'm starting to appear rather predatory. mmm.... i'm not sure i can take back some of my lines? i suppose i could, but then it would be like editing myself.... i usually just let my fingers go.... and whatever comes out, i'm not responsible for...... since it's my fingers that are doing the typing. it's not me... if you're going to arrest someone.... lock up my fingers. well, i highly doubt i convinced anyone to sleep with me let alone have sex with me.... but you never know... maybe there's someone drunk enough out there.... or maybe somehow the stars are aligned and the mood is just right and you find the slighest glimmer of attractiveness in me.... maybe you see something in my eyes...... and please don't say stupidity.... i've heard that one way too many times..... please say a "sexual tiger" or "a man's man..." or something really sexual.... like a sexy latino name.... like pedro or raul.... something that just makes you want to rip my clothes off and devour me.... something irrestible! say it to me baby.....
or just email me..... maybe we could plan a love affair for this weekend.... and by love affair, i don't mean.... cheating on your husband or bf.... sorry, even perverts have to draw the line somewhere..... sorry, i don't do aduletry..... well, unless she works at the brothel....."

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